Miracles Still Happen Today!

This week has played huge on my emotions. Monday, the 17th of December, MaKatie and I went to Ogden for a 21 week OB/GYN appointment. She loves to see her baby in mom's tummy. Depending on when you ask she'll say its a brother or a sister. No consistent guess from her. The weather forecast said 1-3 inches of snow in Woodruff and 40 degrees with possible rain in Ogden. We headed out originally with thick hoodies for running errands in Ogden. Before leaving, I grabbed our winter coats (which I rarely take mine anywhere cause it doesn't zip around my belly very well right now), MaKatie's snow gloves, and we both wore tennis shoes. I also grabbed her favorite blanket that Great Grandma Peterson made her. She has to have it to sleep. Their is no debate there.

Well to make a long story shorter we ran our couple of errands, went to the doctor's appointment, and headed home about 3:30. It was raining in Ogden. As we got half way home the roads were dry. We came about ten miles from our exit and it started to snow a little just leaving wet roads. At about 4:30ish, we hit some ice and started sliding. I tried to carefully correct it, but soon realized we were headed off the shoulder of the road. From Bryant's many questions and careful examination of the car he figures when we hit the dirt and got traction again is what sent us flying. We rolled the car landing at the bottom of the slope from the shoulder. We were mostly on the  driver's side of the car but at an angle if that makes any sense. If I was smart enough I would draw a diagram for you.

That's when super mom mode kicked in. I turned around to see if MaKatie was okay. She was fussing a little bit. I asked her if she was okay. She stopped fussing and told me she crashed the car. Good to know she understood where she was and what was going on. I carefully unbuckled her and stood her up in the back. From there I said a quick prayer for help to know what to do. I tried to call 911 and got the stupid message saying all circuits are currently busy please try again later. My phone battery was all but dead, so another call wasn't an option. I opened the front passenger door and climbed out. Right there in front of me were my glasses (which had been on my face) perfectly folded like I had laid them their to go to bed and MaKatie's snow gloves. Not a single scratch on my glasses. I think they had to fly out of the back window which was broken. I quickly opened the back passenger door and helped MaKatie into her coat and gloves, picked her up and set her down outside. I shook the glass out of my coat, put it on, squeezed in my belly so I could zip it, and grabbed MaKatie's blanket. I picked her up covered her in the blanket and hiked up the 10 feet or so to the shoulder of the freeway. Immediately a semi stopped to see if we were okay. He gave us a ride to the Wyoming Port of Entry a mile down the road. At the port of entry the wonderful women that worked their already had called the police and had things under control. While they found a paper and pencil for MaKatie to color with, I called Bryant to come pick us up. Those wonderful women fed MaKatie ice cream and candy, offered me tea and coffee. They were truly a blessing.

As we waited the hour and a half for Bryant to get there they closed the interstate, it snowed like crazy, the EMTs checked us out, and the state trooper got our information. The EMTs were wonderful and did an awesome job. They said they would give us a ride to the hospital if I wanted but said we seemed okay. The state trooper on the other hand wasn't so impressive. I realize its his job to gather info and report it, but all he asked for was our names, birthdates, if we'd been in seatbelts, and how fast I was driving. He notified me that I had probably been driving too fast. I wanted to say "Really, you think so? Of course it was too fast if I rolled my car, but in my defense when you drove on the same road it was solid ice for miles. I had just found the ice after driving on decent roads. I wasn't expecting ice or I would've been going a lot slower." He then proceeded to tell me he would send the wrecker to the port of entry and maybe I could drive my car home. (This was after he saw it on its side in the bar ditch.) I already knew that it wasn't going to be driven anywhere, especially with a precious little girl in a crashed carseat and no back windshield with that weather. I thought he'd be worried about getting us somewhere to stay the night. The poor guy didn't have a clue where Woodruff was. He told me I wasn't going to be able to get home. I knew the freeway was open the few miles to Evanston, and from there it was about 15 miles up the highway to my driveway. Chances were pretty good I could get home, but he had it in his head I was needing to go back to Ogden to get to Woodruff. Not once did he offer us a ride to Evanston to find a hotel or something. I guess in his mind we were going to drive that totaled car to our house we wouldn't be able to make it to. After stopping at Wal-Mart for a new carseat and driving on horrible roads, Bryant made it to the port at about 6:30. It was the best sight in the whole world. MaKatie hollered, "That's my dad!" She sure was excited to have a new car seat. We loaded up in the truck and drove home.We arrived safely.

The next morning we did all the yucky stuff like call the insurance company and get our stuff out of the car. We made a $100 on it, which was a nice surprise. I thought we'd have to pay a disposal fee  and towing costs. The tow truck guy bought it from us at scrap metal cost. I took a few pictures of it. Tuesday was a lot scarier than Monday. Monday I was on a mission to get my little girl safe, but Tuesday I realized things like the roof of the car was just inches from her head and we didn't just tip over but rolled. It brought a lot of what ifs to mind. What if I had been hurt and MaKatie sat there in her car seat crying or if I had turned around and the roof was smashing her, etc. We were definitely watched out for. I am grateful for my God who knows me and watches out for us. Because in my eyes the fact that we walked away without a scratch or bruise is a miracle! Let alone that we got help so fast. So even though I am not excited to go car shopping right now, I am very thankful for every ache or pain in life I have today. Because that means I get at least one more day with my family and that even includes our little one who has made my life so miserable the last 20 weeks. I look forward to meeting him/her even more now.

I was pretty sore for a couple days, but MaKatie acted like she wasn't sore at all. Oh and she thinks she wants a red car now since we have to get a new one. Mom is all about safety ratings now and she just wants red. Here are some pictures of the car parked at the junk yard.

The side we landed on- driver's side.

The side we climbed out of.

Picture this with MaKatie, and that's what I saw when I looked back to see if she was okay. Hanging out sideways and all.

When I realized how close the roof was to smashing MaKatie. Scared me to death!

MaKatie hanging out where it's warm, acting like her silly self the next day.

Christmas is Coming! Ready or Not!

Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming! I have been ready to decorate our tree since we got snow a week before Halloween. Now that it's here... I'm kind of bummed. MaKatie and I have spent the last ten days in isolation. Not exactly how I imagined spending my December. The night we came home from the Payne Christmas Party, she started fevering and has had croup since then.  I could see the end of the light at the tunnel when I came down with the worst cold I've had in years. Four days later, I think I'm maybe starting to feel a little better and I'm beginning to wonder if she is getting my cold. I hope and pray not! As of tomorrow night we'll have missed two Christmas parties, had to reschedule the big ultrasound and a much needed night away with my hubby. So what started out as a very well put together season is turning into one big rush to get things done. My goal was to get all the commercial stuff done, so I could focus on the the real meaning of Christmas. It's not happening this year, so maybe next year. I wouldn't have anything to look forward to next year if I had the perfect year this time.

As for those of you who have been asking... I am still suffering from "morning sickness." Today marks day one of week 20. I am so excited to be heading downhill on the count. Hopefully only a couple more months of being sick before my favorite trimester starts. Yes that's right I love the third trimester cause I finally stop throwing up. But I'll get to what you all read my blog for now... pictures of MaKatie.

The first weekend in December always brings the Payne Christmas Party. On the way we stopped to play with great grandma,

spent the weekend wearing this grandma out (but it was so nice for this mama to have a rest),

and we finally made it to the party. It was a great time, but MaKatie wasn't so sure about this guy named Santa. She wouldn't get any closer to him.

After having croup all week, we thought she might be up to getting a Christmas tree. After all she was looking pretty bright eyed after sitting on my lap all week. Even chipper enough to dig through the laundry and find these to wear.

We thought we had spotted the perfect tree from the truck just as MaKatie dosed off, so we drove a little further to let her nap. Bryant spotted some elk and took a few shots. He took a little hike to make sure he really didn't injure anything. This may be the closest I'll ever come to hunting with Bryant. I don't care for hiking and he doesn't care to wait up for me, so we have a mutual agreement not to hunt together. 

Back to our trees. MaKatie telling us which of the two she  wants. That's as long as she lasted. She wasn't feeling good again and wanted to sit in the truck. I was glad we were on private ground and could cut a tree close enough to the road so I felt comfortable leaving her in the truck. Plus its much easier cutting a tree in two inches of snow and only 15 feet from the truck without caring a child, then last years quarter plus of a mile in 18 inches of snow with a one year old in tow.

"Helping" with the clean-up for the tree to come in.

You can tell she still doesn't feel well and her attitude showed it even if she was having fun.

MaKatie thinks Christmas lights are for her belly button.

Helping mom string the lights and ribbon.

Or playing while mom tries to hang it.

I can do it by myself.

Okay maybe a little help would be great.

Up there dad. Whenever we'd ask where should this one go she'd reply, " On the Christmas tree." Really?

Which one do I want next?

The final project. Yay we got it done even if MaKatie wasn't back to 100% yet and mom was quickly heading down hill with a nasty cold. Glad we didn't try to wait for her to feel better or we still wouldn't have a tree yet. The next afternoon we took some pictures for our Christmas card. That was a joke too. Mom felt like crap, MaKatie felt like crap and refused to smile. So just laugh when you see our Christmas cards this year. All I can say is we tried, and no it wasn't the photographer's fault either.

Fall is Done & Winter has Come... Full Force

Even though we spent half of winter here last year, I apparently am a little naive. But in my defense we didn't have any snow after we moved here in January until today. The weatherman forecast snow. I thought we'd wake up with a skiff and it'd be gone by this afternoon. I didn't bother picking up MaKatie's toys or the hoses yet. Well we have about a foot of snow for me to go gather them out of and its still coming down.

Here are a few pictures of MaKatie playing in it this afternoon. She didn't want to stop very bad, but she has a lot better snow clothes than this here mama does. I was cold and ready to be done. The romance of snow seems to be gone now that I have a kid who is big enough to play in it.  I love the fresh snow without tracks in it. That is from my couch with a cup of hot cider and a book or movie. My yard is covered in tracks now and that didn't happen by staying on the couch with a good book. It sure was fun to watch her have a blast though. I tried making a snowman... she thought it was a kickball. We made a few snow angels (by we I mean MaKatie did.) She loved just walking through it and randomly belly flopping into it almost as much as she loved eating it. You have to watch her closely... She doesn't quite get the difference between dirty snow and clean snow yet.

A Little Bit of This and That

FALL...my favorite time of year has arrived! Despite the fact that I have felt horrible these past seven weeks Bryant has gotten me out of the house to enjoy it. It is wonderful to live where there are so many quakies. They are my all time favorite tree. Bryant said he rode over the hill the other day gathering cows on the mountain and there were a bunch of red, yellow, and orange quakies. He knew I would love them! So despite my best efforts to stay home close to the porcelain thrown, we went to see them one Sunday afternoon. Boy am I glad that we did. Gorgeous doesn't even begin to describe them. Nor do my pictures give it justice. Took a couple pictures. Had I known the lighting would be perfect and it would look like we were in a studio, we would've dressed up a bit. However, the shirt Bryant is wearing is vintage. His Grandma Peterson gave him a few of his Grandpa Payne's shirts from when he was still alive. Kind of cool to see him wear them around a bit. That's one person I look forward to meeting on the other side some day. I've heard lots of cool stories about him and I hear he loved his  grandbabies. A man that loves kids has a special spot in my heart. I like to think of him and my Great Grandma Vi being good friends in Heaven.

The red ones are my favorite. Who would have guessed?

We also listened to the elk bugling...

And saw some cool deer. (Bryant was really impressed with the one farthest away because his antlers fork different. I didn't know any better. To me a deer is a deer.)

The weather forecasted cold was coming... Wait a big gasp... Who would've guessed that would happen in Woodruff. Bryant and MaKatie picked three cookie sheet cake pans full of green tomatoes. Yep that's right only two got to ripen on the vine this year.

With the cold weather in the fall brings weaning and shipping, so that sent some of the cowboys away to help some other ranches. Which means I was left in charge on the home front for one night... The thought never crossed my mind to stop watering the lawn at night if the forecast was low 20's and Bryant already picked the whole garden. In one night with the sprinkler on this is what I woke up to. When I fed the dogs that evening there was still ice under this poor little tree.

And MaKatie has decided that rope she got for her birthday can be kind of fun with the right company around.  

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Trials come in all forms...

So this session is going to be a bit of a pity party for myself in hopes of some how soothing my soul. I wont be offended if you don't want to read it, but if you want to know our latest news you'll have to read on.

MaKatie was drawing pretty close to 18 months and seemed like such a big girl. So I fell for the bait. You know the kind... "baby hungry." Well now she is officially two and we are nine weeks into the game of pregnancy at our house. I don't mean to be insensitive to all of you out there who are trying so hard and God isn't blessing you at this moment with a baby. I really can't imagine what its like, but today I would like to know. A positive pregnancy test should be the the nastiest four letter word out there for me. If you were to ask me the entire time I was pregnant with MaKatie if we were having more kids, I would've replied... not NO! but HELL NO!!! I remember why now. Out of all the hard things I have had to do in my life this is the hardest. Hands down, no discussion.   I've been through some pretty trying times in my life, but nothing compares. I'd rather break over ten bones in my body again in less than 6 months, deal with divorcing parents and custody battles all over again.

Growing up I always considered myself the lucky one. Everyone else gets the flu and throws up non-stop. I would just ache really bad. Well I think I have thrown up enough in the last month to make up for the rest of my life. Add to that this time around all three of us having nasty colds and then the stomach flu also overlapping. I have been very miserable. I don't know if miserable is a strong enough word. Add to that guilt and that sums up my emotions in a nutshell.

Guilt... something I put on myself. I feel guilty because I am not excited to be pregnant. Guilty because I have worked so hard at not putting MaKatie in daycare or having the TV be her daycare. Guilty because I worked so hard the first two years to get her to eat healthy and have a routine she can depend on. Now from the moment she wakes up, I stick her in front of the TV with a granola bar or whatever I can talk her into snacking on while I throw up. Then I let her watch TV all day while I lay on the couch wishing I were dead. Only getting up when she asks for a snack. Dad tries to get her to eat lunch with him, but she's pieced all day cause its easier than dealing with the tantrum while my head is in the toilet. Most days I don't even push a nap cause its too much effort. I know I am creating a monster, but I keep telling myself, "After the baby comes I will feel so much better and can deal with it then."

Then there is the guilt of letting Bryant do everything. He's the only one who gets MaKatie outside anymore. Even though she begs me all day to go and swing. He does laundry, dishes, finds something to eat out of non-existent left overs, bathes MaKatie, puts her to bed, etc. If he doesn't do it, it just might not get done. The last time we did this I thought he was just being rude, but I don't think he was home enough between 21 credits at school and a 3/4 time job to see how sick I was. He'd leave before I got up in the morning and I'd be in bed when he got home. He really puts up with a lot while I am pregnant. Bless his good heart. But it doesn't make me feel any less guilty.

Then comes the guilt for not being a good friend, neighbor, primary teacher, etc. I am too busy worrying about me not feeling good. The guilt of not taking better care of myself this time around. MaKatie was four weeks early due to complications of preeclampsia. Luckily I didn't fully understand the full effects of what could have happened. It can be scary and in a hurry. So this time I was going to keep exercising, eating healthier, and not feel sorry for myself. There is just something about vomiting as you run that makes it unbearable. So here I am in the same spot I was 2 1/2 years ago. No that doesn't mean I have to have complications, but I can't say I tried anything different this time. I suddenly am not so critical of others that don't change habits while pregnant or even in other hard circumstances. I guess it all comes down to what God thinks of my efforts. It only matters what He thinks, but sometimes its hard to remember that. He is probably a whole lot more forgiving of me than I am. He has a high standard for me, but probably a more realistic one than I have for myself. So I guess I better get on my knees a little more often, so he can remind what my real purpose is in life and this trial.

First Haircuts... What a Process...

So I have a confession. I am going to get a blog done again. There have been several times I thought that would be a cute blog, but by the time I get around to doing it, it's six weeks later. Who cares about our 4th of July in the middle of August? I don't ever get them posted, so I am posting this as MaKatie drags her blanket through her hair on the floor.

We've been able to do pig tails in MaKatie's hair since she was about 9 months old. Her hair was really thin and fine but it looked cute in piggies. Well she has more hair coming in now. It ranges from an inch long to almost to her shoulder blades.

Can you see her mullet? Look really close and you can see how long it was.

So we went to get a trim. Cheree cut a couple inches off the back, so she now has a cute bob.

But it continued to get thicker under the longer strands. I couldn't do ponytails anymore cause the short hair pokes through and looks horrible. 

And this is what it looks like if we try a head band. She wont leave it in and the longer strands go crazy. It always looks like we never do her hair. :( That stresses this mama cause we really spend up to 30 minutes a day trying to figure out this mane.

So I started asking around for advice. Half said cut it and half said leave it. One lady told me her girl's hair was like this when she was little... it took until she was six to even out. That was it, I can't handle it for that long. So I looked online for ideas. I came to this conclusion. I would try trimming the bob and if it looked silly this cut wasn't too bad. 

This was the bob wet. I thought it was cute until it dried. Then it didn't look so great...

So we trimmed the top to be all the same length and shaped up around her ears.

This is what we ended up with. Her hair is going to be thick, but it has some growing out to do again.

The final product. Don't look to close cause I am not a beautician by any means. I had a hard time cutting it short, but I think it looks better for now. Eventually she'll have long hair again. I keep telling myself long pretty hair is so much better than long stringing crazy hair. Even though it was hard to go short now it will pay off in the end.